Anxiety and insecurity: insecurity at home

ANXIETY AND INSECURITY: INSECURITY AT HOME
We think of home as being a refuge, a haven from the storm of the outside world. But this is not always so. Tension in the home is such a familiar theme that it needs little explanation here. Sexual difficulties and the displacement of the husband's aggression on to his wife are common enough. But often simple insecurity is an important factor in the wife's nervous tension. She is insecure because she does not know how her husband will react. He is a different man according to whether he has had a good day or a bad day at the office, or whether he has had a few drinks on the way home.
A woman is more dependent by nature than is a man. She is therefore more vulnerable to insecurity when she is uncertain whether or not she can depend on her husband. This may apply to matters that seem quite trivial such as support on social occasions or help in controlling the children; but because of the need for support, she feels insecure and tension results.
There is obvious insecurity when the marriage is about to break up. But there are many less clearly denned actions which produce the same unease. The subtle change of attitude, the defensive reply, the inconsequential greeting, the vague reasons for this or that, and above all a lessening of sexual demands even when she herself has no particular sexual desire; these may all combine to produce a state of subclinical insecurity in the wife. She becomes chronically tense and ill at ease, perhaps without knowing exactly why.

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